Everytime you are stopped by a Cop for speeding...you start wondering ..what excuse should I give this time...I came up with small list of excuses that will make sure you get a ticket.. :-)
1) Tell him : A friend of mine told me that this is a scary part of the road, "bad" people live in this area, So I was trying to quickly pass through it.
2) Tell cop, I didn't know you were around, I never saw patrolling cars in the area, so I thought it was ok to speed on this street.
3) Sorry sir, I dint realize I was speeding...it’s all because of the Supreme Gas i filled in my car, my car is used to UNLEADED gas.... i am not at fault...blame the GAS STATION guy, he added something to the fuel.
4) There's some problem with my speedometer..it shows random speeds...I dint knew I was on 90 until you told me... thanks for telling... but I am happy in a way because I always doubted my car would touch 90
5) I am really wearing heavy shoes today and they are making my gas pedals go down more.
6) I didn't know what speed I was at ...as its dark and I had my lights off.
7) I am drunk and wanted to get off the road as soon as possible....to make it safe for other drivers.
8) I dint notice it was a cop car and thought you wanted to race with me.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Game addiction...!!
Ladies and gentleman....I have a problem,I need help ...no no not that problem but the video game problem.
I just can't stop playing Xbox, Damn... I am so addicted. People have started giving me wierd looks when I talk about the number of hours I spend playing games...
I am trying to find a way to quit, but the more I try the more it backfires on me.....!!
Guys who have the same problem can go over my list and decide for themselves ..which games are addictive and which are not...
I have my own ratings and addiction levels for each :-)
1) Assassin's Creed 1 : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
2) Assassin's Creed 2 : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
3) Prince of Persia (The forgotten sands) : Completed (8 out of 10) -- semi addictive
4) Modern Warfare 2 : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
5) Split/Second : Currently playing -- donno yet
6) TMNT : Quit playing after some time ..game sucked : Incomplete (2 out of 10) --super non addictive
7) Splinter Cell Conviction : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
8) Far Cry 2 : Biggest Game I ever came across : Incomplete (7 out of 10) -- non addictive
9) Battlefield Bad company : Completed (8 out of 10) -- addictive
10) Mass Effect 2 : Incomplete (6 out of 10) -- non addictive
11) Left for Dead 2 : Incomplete (6 out of 10) -- non addictive
12) Call of Duty : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
13) Dark Sector : Complex game (7 out of 10) -- addictive
14) Delta Force 2 : Completed (9 out of 10) -- addictive
15) Need for speed 2 : Completed (7 out of 10) -- addictive
16) Need for speed (Shift) : Incomplete...game sucked (5 out of 10) --non addictive
17) Need for speed (Undercover) : Complete (10 out of 10) --addictive
In Queue/will be played in week or so :
1) Fallout 3
2) Tom Clancy's Rainbow 6 Vegas - 2
3) Gears of War 2
4) Bad company 4
Looking forward for games to launch this Fall ...
1) Ghost Recon Future soldier
2) Call of duty 5
3) Driver San Francisco
4) Assassin's Creed Brotherhood
I just can't stop playing Xbox, Damn... I am so addicted. People have started giving me wierd looks when I talk about the number of hours I spend playing games...
I am trying to find a way to quit, but the more I try the more it backfires on me.....!!
Guys who have the same problem can go over my list and decide for themselves ..which games are addictive and which are not...
I have my own ratings and addiction levels for each :-)
1) Assassin's Creed 1 : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
2) Assassin's Creed 2 : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
3) Prince of Persia (The forgotten sands) : Completed (8 out of 10) -- semi addictive
4) Modern Warfare 2 : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
5) Split/Second : Currently playing -- donno yet
6) TMNT : Quit playing after some time ..game sucked : Incomplete (2 out of 10) --super non addictive
7) Splinter Cell Conviction : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
8) Far Cry 2 : Biggest Game I ever came across : Incomplete (7 out of 10) -- non addictive
9) Battlefield Bad company : Completed (8 out of 10) -- addictive
10) Mass Effect 2 : Incomplete (6 out of 10) -- non addictive
11) Left for Dead 2 : Incomplete (6 out of 10) -- non addictive
12) Call of Duty : Completed (10 out of 10) -- super addictive
13) Dark Sector : Complex game (7 out of 10) -- addictive
14) Delta Force 2 : Completed (9 out of 10) -- addictive
15) Need for speed 2 : Completed (7 out of 10) -- addictive
16) Need for speed (Shift) : Incomplete...game sucked (5 out of 10) --non addictive
17) Need for speed (Undercover) : Complete (10 out of 10) --addictive
In Queue/will be played in week or so :
1) Fallout 3
2) Tom Clancy's Rainbow 6 Vegas - 2
3) Gears of War 2
4) Bad company 4
Looking forward for games to launch this Fall ...
1) Ghost Recon Future soldier
2) Call of duty 5
3) Driver San Francisco
4) Assassin's Creed Brotherhood
Monday, July 26, 2010
how my car...sucks!!!
Dear Car,
I know this is gonna make you mad...piss you off... but I have to tell something that you need to know...!!
I know you were at your best looks when I bought you back in 2004 from a Skoda dealer. You were the best car in market with good powerful engine. You were strong, reliable, fast and trustworthy. People used to turn around to check you out, look at the way you used to drive and yes, you were damn sexy.
I still remmember the time when we used to hang out togather. And an incidence when i got your dent repaired from a street side mechanic against your will. And, ofcourse the time when i got you stuck in mud in a rally and many more, its hard to forget all....
But, now that you are old you have lost all the things that attracted me to you. You are not reliable any more, your internal circuits have become a maze for us.
You have started making more noise then you used to. Though you never had a good mileage, its getting even worse now that your are getting old. I have heard lot of complaints from my dad who is spending thousands on you to keep you working. Your parts are very expensive and everytime you are hurt we have to import your parts from Checkoslovakia. Since you dont want to start without a chip and you need chargeable chip keys, we have to keep changing the spare key every now and then, you and your crappy concepts always freaked us out.
You dont like any other mechanic touching you and have always forced us to get you to an authorized Skoda dealer costing me double then what you deserve.
Though people are talking about getting rid off you and going with some hot cars in market and put you in corner of the garage, I still care about you.
And whats up with your back light? why do they remain ON even though the engine is off and even after I manually turn off the lights, Sometimes you really suck... and now a days you suck quite often.
Forgot to tell you that, I'll be pulling off the audio system out of you since its damn expensive and now that you're gonna be in garage all the time.
-Parag
I know this is gonna make you mad...piss you off... but I have to tell something that you need to know...!!
I know you were at your best looks when I bought you back in 2004 from a Skoda dealer. You were the best car in market with good powerful engine. You were strong, reliable, fast and trustworthy. People used to turn around to check you out, look at the way you used to drive and yes, you were damn sexy.
I still remmember the time when we used to hang out togather. And an incidence when i got your dent repaired from a street side mechanic against your will. And, ofcourse the time when i got you stuck in mud in a rally and many more, its hard to forget all....
But, now that you are old you have lost all the things that attracted me to you. You are not reliable any more, your internal circuits have become a maze for us.
You have started making more noise then you used to. Though you never had a good mileage, its getting even worse now that your are getting old. I have heard lot of complaints from my dad who is spending thousands on you to keep you working. Your parts are very expensive and everytime you are hurt we have to import your parts from Checkoslovakia. Since you dont want to start without a chip and you need chargeable chip keys, we have to keep changing the spare key every now and then, you and your crappy concepts always freaked us out.
You dont like any other mechanic touching you and have always forced us to get you to an authorized Skoda dealer costing me double then what you deserve.
Though people are talking about getting rid off you and going with some hot cars in market and put you in corner of the garage, I still care about you.
And whats up with your back light? why do they remain ON even though the engine is off and even after I manually turn off the lights, Sometimes you really suck... and now a days you suck quite often.
Forgot to tell you that, I'll be pulling off the audio system out of you since its damn expensive and now that you're gonna be in garage all the time.
-Parag
Friday, July 23, 2010
How to loose a girl in 10 days?
I'm guessing you guys must have seen the movie "How to loose a guy in 10 days"
Why are always movies made against guys? why was'nt there a movie "How to loose a girl in 10 days"
I would have made a movie on it, but then i looked into my pocket and found out that i am just a few million dollar short of directing a movie.
Until I find a producer for my movie, I'll keep posting my ideas on my blog, here we go.........'how to loose a girl in 10 days'
1) Keep forgetting plans you have together and never give an explanation. Act suspiciously when she asks where you've been.
2) Stare at other girls when you are with her, passing comments and flirting with other girls would help in fastning the process.
3) Always act as you never trust her and ask her questions like, where have you been? with whom? keep a list of people she talks to.
4) Make sure you forget birthday, valentines day and all special days that she expects you to remmember.
5) Call and message her constantly every 5 mins to see who she's with.
6) Be rude to the girl in front of other friends.
7) Never listen to her, try to interrupt her everytime she tries to say something, always prove she's wrong.
8) Always tell the girl that her family sucks.
9) Stalk her anywhere she goes and make sure that she comes to know about it through her friends.
10) When in conversation with her, call her by another girl's name.
11) Invite her over and then ignore her completly by playing video games or let her be there and you just walk out of your house.
Why are always movies made against guys? why was'nt there a movie "How to loose a girl in 10 days"
I would have made a movie on it, but then i looked into my pocket and found out that i am just a few million dollar short of directing a movie.
Until I find a producer for my movie, I'll keep posting my ideas on my blog, here we go.........'how to loose a girl in 10 days'
1) Keep forgetting plans you have together and never give an explanation. Act suspiciously when she asks where you've been.
2) Stare at other girls when you are with her, passing comments and flirting with other girls would help in fastning the process.
3) Always act as you never trust her and ask her questions like, where have you been? with whom? keep a list of people she talks to.
4) Make sure you forget birthday, valentines day and all special days that she expects you to remmember.
5) Call and message her constantly every 5 mins to see who she's with.
6) Be rude to the girl in front of other friends.
7) Never listen to her, try to interrupt her everytime she tries to say something, always prove she's wrong.
8) Always tell the girl that her family sucks.
9) Stalk her anywhere she goes and make sure that she comes to know about it through her friends.
10) When in conversation with her, call her by another girl's name.
11) Invite her over and then ignore her completly by playing video games or let her be there and you just walk out of your house.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
How to make people hate you?
Well its not easy but yes, you can make people hate you by following the tricks below,
--> Never brush your teeth + have a mexican burrito and get close to people when you make a conversation.
--> Never worry about taking shower.
--> Make sure your socks and shoe stinks.
--> Stay away from deodrants, perfumes and mouth freshners.
--> Don't bother to change clothes, use same clothes at work, gym and at night for several days, infact for months if possible.
-->Dont give space to people around you, try to get yourself involved in their personal matter and give weird suggestions and comments about their girlfriends/boyfriend/wife/husband....
--> Insult everyone around you.
--> Never brush your teeth + have a mexican burrito and get close to people when you make a conversation.
--> Never worry about taking shower.
--> Make sure your socks and shoe stinks.
--> Stay away from deodrants, perfumes and mouth freshners.
--> Don't bother to change clothes, use same clothes at work, gym and at night for several days, infact for months if possible.
-->Dont give space to people around you, try to get yourself involved in their personal matter and give weird suggestions and comments about their girlfriends/boyfriend/wife/husband....
--> Insult everyone around you.
How to look busy at work?
Some essential office skills that will make you look busy at work....
1) Never walk in office without a document in your hand --> gives an impression of you heading for a meeting.
2) Messy Desk --> it always gives an impression that you are working hard. Pile the document high and wide,so everyone can see it, its the volume that counts. If you know somebody is coming to your desk. bury the document you'll need halfway down in the existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
3) Voice Mail --> Never answer your phone if you have a voice message setup. Respond to voice message during lunch hours when you know they are not there. This will give them an impression that you work even at your lunch hours.
4) Looking impatient and annoyed all the times --> give impression that you are always busy and under some stress.
5) Leave the office late --> always make sure you leave after your boss has left the office. Send important mails at unearthy hours (eg. 9.45 PM , 7.02 AM ) and during public holidays.
6) Creative Signing for effect --> Sign loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are always under extreme pressure.
7) Stacking Strategy --> It is not enough to pile lot of document on the table. Put lots of book on the floor etc.(thick computer manuals are the best)
8) Build Vocabulary --> Read on some computer magazine and pick out all the jargons and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remmember they dont have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.
9) Have two jackets --> If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This will give an impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around everywhere.
10) Most Important --> Never show the above 9 points to your manager
An email from my friend about the same topic inspired me writing above lines in my post.
Hope you guys liked it...!!
Please reply so I come up with more crazy ideas in my new post :-)
1) Never walk in office without a document in your hand --> gives an impression of you heading for a meeting.
2) Messy Desk --> it always gives an impression that you are working hard. Pile the document high and wide,so everyone can see it, its the volume that counts. If you know somebody is coming to your desk. bury the document you'll need halfway down in the existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
3) Voice Mail --> Never answer your phone if you have a voice message setup. Respond to voice message during lunch hours when you know they are not there. This will give them an impression that you work even at your lunch hours.
4) Looking impatient and annoyed all the times --> give impression that you are always busy and under some stress.
5) Leave the office late --> always make sure you leave after your boss has left the office. Send important mails at unearthy hours (eg. 9.45 PM , 7.02 AM ) and during public holidays.
6) Creative Signing for effect --> Sign loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are always under extreme pressure.
7) Stacking Strategy --> It is not enough to pile lot of document on the table. Put lots of book on the floor etc.(thick computer manuals are the best)
8) Build Vocabulary --> Read on some computer magazine and pick out all the jargons and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remmember they dont have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.
9) Have two jackets --> If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This will give an impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around everywhere.
10) Most Important --> Never show the above 9 points to your manager
An email from my friend about the same topic inspired me writing above lines in my post.
Hope you guys liked it...!!
Please reply so I come up with more crazy ideas in my new post :-)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
My Travel Guide !!
"I love travelling" were the words I used to say to my friends when I was little.
I was shocked one day when i found out the places i flew in past 3 years, i think that a lot...!!
And yes these are just the places i have travelled for my work.
I am in process of preparing another list focusing on my vaction places :-)
Mumbai to --> San francisco,CA(Jan 2006)
SFO,CA to --> Mumbai (Aug 2006)
Sanjose to --> Chicago (May 2007)
Chicago to --> Rochester,NY (Jul 2007)
Rochester to --> sanjose,CA (Sep 2007)
Sanjose to --> chicago,IL (Sep 2007)
Chicago to --> SFO,CA (Oct 2007)
Sanjose,CA to --> Chicago (jan 2008)
Chicago,IL to --> Seattle,WA (Jan 2008)
seattle,WA to --> sanjose,CA (Mar 2008)
Sanjose,CA to --> Seattle,WA (Mar 2008)
seattle,WA to --> sanjose,CA (May 2008)
Sanjose,CA to --> Seattle,WA (May 2008)
Seattle,WA to --> Dallas,TX (Aug 2008)
Dallas,TX to --> Indianapolis,IN (Sep 2008)
Indianapolis,IN to -->Mumbai,IN (dec 2008)
Mumbai,IN to --> indianapolis,IN (jan 2009)
Indianpolis to --> San Jose (May 2009)
Cities i liked the most from top to bottom,
(i) Mumbai
(ii) San Francisco
(iii) Chicago
(iv) Indianpolis
City I hate the most:
(i) Rochester
Why do I hate rochester? well the story need to come as a new post.
Thanks for reading..!!
I was shocked one day when i found out the places i flew in past 3 years, i think that a lot...!!
And yes these are just the places i have travelled for my work.
I am in process of preparing another list focusing on my vaction places :-)
Mumbai to --> San francisco,CA(Jan 2006)
SFO,CA to --> Mumbai (Aug 2006)
Sanjose to --> Chicago (May 2007)
Chicago to --> Rochester,NY (Jul 2007)
Rochester to --> sanjose,CA (Sep 2007)
Sanjose to --> chicago,IL (Sep 2007)
Chicago to --> SFO,CA (Oct 2007)
Sanjose,CA to --> Chicago (jan 2008)
Chicago,IL to --> Seattle,WA (Jan 2008)
seattle,WA to --> sanjose,CA (Mar 2008)
Sanjose,CA to --> Seattle,WA (Mar 2008)
seattle,WA to --> sanjose,CA (May 2008)
Sanjose,CA to --> Seattle,WA (May 2008)
Seattle,WA to --> Dallas,TX (Aug 2008)
Dallas,TX to --> Indianapolis,IN (Sep 2008)
Indianapolis,IN to -->Mumbai,IN (dec 2008)
Mumbai,IN to --> indianapolis,IN (jan 2009)
Indianpolis to --> San Jose (May 2009)
Cities i liked the most from top to bottom,
(i) Mumbai
(ii) San Francisco
(iii) Chicago
(iv) Indianpolis
City I hate the most:
(i) Rochester
Why do I hate rochester? well the story need to come as a new post.
Thanks for reading..!!
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